this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize