took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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