why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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