Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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