SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
