Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry robertniles32 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(212): View more from New York

dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?

(1-212): View more from New York

idk but i think it had a face

Fav 15 1190 1856
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...

Fav 10 5662 901
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.

Fav 23 8746 5540
share tweet
(510): View more from California

Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.

Fav 6 4872 1128
share tweet
(713): View more from Texas

He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"

Fav 10 3646 1505
share tweet
(612): View more from Minnesota

Now have a vodka water and get your shit together

Fav 6 2763 1213
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out

Fav 2 1654 800
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(323): View more from California

We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night

Fav 0 452 622
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(309): View more from Illinois

So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.

Fav 0 19 22
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT