After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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