I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
