ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
