Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
