Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
