Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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