Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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