Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
