I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
