The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
