so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
