I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i already hear my dad disowning me
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
