in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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