I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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