She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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