What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
