Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
my sisters under your porch take her home
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
