Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
