is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
