my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
