I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
