'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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