just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
