Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
