just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
