1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
