Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Kiss
Puke
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
