Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
