so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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