I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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