All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
