Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
