I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
