i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Randomize
