We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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