ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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