Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
