you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
