You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
