Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
What drink are we having for lunch?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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