Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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