After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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