I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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