is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize